Four Loko Alcopop Taste Test (Part 2) – Lemonade, Watermelon, Cranberry Lemonade
When I first posted this taste test, I’d thought I’d covered all the available flavors. My next visit to the bodega had a whole host of new flavors, especially enticing, I snagged a few sample cans for part two of the Four Loko Taste Test.
I paid $3.24 for a 23.5 ounce can, with 12% alcohol by volume. Quantity is equal to 2 beers (nearly 24 ounces), but with the increased alcohol, you can expect a bigger buzz. I’d say a single can is equivalent to 4-6 standard beers, depending on what you drink. Most cheap beer is 3-5% alcohol, some micro-brews offer 6-9% alcohol.
Brought to us from the Drink Four Brewing Company in Latrobe, PA. I’m suspect it might be using second hand equipment from Latrobe’s other famous export: Rolling Rock Beer (since they’ve been bought by Anheuser-Busch in 2006 and the primary brewing now happens in New Jersey).
With (another) 3 varieties of flavors, we’ll be taste testing the Lemonade, Watermelon, & Cranberry Lemonade flavors of Four Loko.
I’d sampled similar lemonade flavored malt liquors in the past, and have enjoyed them, so I was confident in choosing this for my first taste of the day. I was mildly disappointed in Four Loko’s Lemonade Flavor. The lemon flavor is initially strong and bitter with this drink, only to be replaced with a musky malt-liquor flavor (Old English 800? Is that you?) that is finally replaced with a sting of citrus acid. The malt liquor/alcohol flavor is the whopping dominant flavor they’re trying to hide, and it’s still too prevalent.
I put this drink on ice, and the ice helped mask the alcohol flavor (somewhat) and make this a refreshing summer drink. With a light yellow tone and a slightly murky body, the drink belies it’s namesake drink. Overall, not a favorite of mine. You might be better choosing a different flavor.
Anyone accustomed to some of the available ‘Hard’ Lemonades will be disappointed by this similarly flavored malt-liquor. They’re simply trying to hide too much alcohol in the flavor, and it’s peeking through. It’s akin to the flavor difference between the delicious Mike’s Hard Lemonade and a Lemon Drop shot (Citrus Vodka with Lemon Slice)
Who doesn’t like a nice slice of watermelon on a hot summer’s day? This alcopop was possibly trying to be the adult replacement for this summer eating habit.
Again, I was highly disappointed by this fake flavoring. This one has a (too strong) Jolly Rancher Watermelon flavor to it. So much so, you can’t taste anything else. The fake flavoring is too strong for real watermelon, and it has a strong bite of cranberry juice as an additive. You can’t taste the malt liquor (yeah!) but the altogether fake flavor was a turnoff. It’s too sweet and tart to be an enjoyable alcoholic drink, where you expect a bite.
The drink is colored neon pink, and it’s mostly transparent. Its fruity color and flavor are certainly an attraction to young drinkers.
Cranberry Lemonade Flavor
Caveat: I tried this one last, therefore you can assume I was pretty blitzed from drinking the equivalent of 8 beers. No surprise this time, as it’s last, it was my taste favorite!
The Cranberry Lemonade flavor was the best of the three, but still not a great taste. Now we have two favors competing over the malt-liquor dank flavor. Thankfully, the cranberry flavor is adequate, but the lemonade flavor is too strong. They’ve seemingly removed the bitter citric acid tang that the Lemonade Flavor has, and smoothed it with the cranberry.
It’s neon-pink color is best hidden inside it’s opaque can. It leaves the distinctive ‘Sparks Tongue’ artifact, making even the most mature drinkers look like a child with a colorful tongue.
Check out my review of 8 of the 9 flavors of Four Loko: Lemonade, Watermelon & Cranberry Lemonade, Fruit Punch, Lemon-Lime, Blue Raspberry, Orange Blend, and UVA:
Darwin Theory Winners
Below are links to the anti-Four Loko news reports where they find the dumbest individuals around, and make a news story of how they got drunk, and lost control of themselves. I don’t know whether to complain about the news reporters who consider a hangover ‘news’, or the idiots who lose control when they drink too much. The re-occurring theme here is college students, who have heard years of warnings of binge drinking, to deaf ears.
Four Loko is as Dangerous as the dumbest Individual Drinking it!
- This dumb 100 lb. girl from Maryland, who drank two, according to CBS News (even I can see the trouble brewing when a tiny girl drinks the equivalent of 10 beers)
- Villanova University railed against it, calling it “Liquid Cocaine”
- All of Michigan has banned it, according to CBS news
- NBC chimes in that local college students at St. Joe’s can’t control their drinking, either.
- University of Rhode Island banned it, according to NPR.
- In a surprise move, Harvard (the last bastion of smart kids?) also warns their students via the school newspaper.
- According to the Chicago Tribune, Arkansas (the state) may follow in Michigan’s footsteps, and ban it outright
- Old People drink it and don’t like it either, according to ABC